Infertility - Taboo??

This is going to be a series of posts and personal ones for me, but I believe this needs to be talked about and shared.  After all, this blog is about Faith, Family, and Home.  I also believe that this is something that is not discussed enough, for whatever the reason may be.  Since this isn’t just about me, I appreciate Husband giving me the green light to talk about this… Thank you my love.

INFERTILITY

When my husband and I got married on April 10, 2010, we were ready for kids right away.

However, God had other plans for us.  He had us walk down a path of struggle, fear, exhaustion and most of all, tested our faith. It was the hardest struggle of my life, and I felt so guilty that I was not able to give my loving husband the child he always wanted.  Although I logically knew that it was out of my hands and that my husband loved me no matter what…  I couldn't help but still feel guilty.  Guilty that it was MY body that was rejecting the process, guilty that it was MY body that was the cause of us not having the family we sought out to have.  I even felt less than a woman…  I know, dumb. But emotionally and mentally – it wore me down. It just did. I hate to admit it but even my faith was pushed to the limits… and at times, it was non-existent.

I had the honor of witnessing my godson be born and when I came home, I cried.  It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen and the idea of not experiencing it myself made me sad.

I felt so ashamed that I couldn't talk to anyone about this.  This was our secret.  People in my life know about my medical conditions (that will be discussed in future posts) but about this… no one knew or knows what we went through. 

So why isn't this something that women talk about?  Why is this so hush-hush?  We as society talk about everything under the sun but for some reason, this seems to be taboo.  Well, I want to change that and this is my way of doing that.  Stay tuned for more posts where I talk about our experience and about how our faith helped us overcome our most heartfelt fears and doubts.

Beijinhos*,

*This is Portuguese for kisses :)